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Like the husband of a beaten and neglected wife I've been away for a while. Off pursuing middle aged women with yeast infections and gingivitis but full of charm and whimsical stories of their great grand children. But I'm back baby with a handful flowers, stinking of Stella Artois and a hatful of nonsensical ramblings to throw your way you lucky minxes, you!
It started while working on my latest filmmaking pursuits, I started to consider the affect film and filmmaking has had on me. Realising I can't watch a film without picking any potential pitfalls or good camera shots etc I realised what a terrible date I must be meaning the cinema isn't a viable option to get my end away with any unfortunate female foolish enough to agree to accompany me on a prearranged outing to any stereotypical dating location. I realised the terrifying depth of my passion for film when watching porn and becoming more engrossed in the vague storyline that supported a sexual encounter between a female boss and an unemployed male, attending what I now think may have been a fake job interview. The sexual encounter itself went off without a hitch all parties seemed suitably satisfied with the exchange of bodily fluids that accompanied the thrilling climax. Yet I couldn't help but feel short changed as it wasn't confirmed whether the man actually got the job or not. Which was annoying as he showcased his typing skills as she requested not with a keyboard or in any traditional format for testing such skills but this woman seemed a bit of a maverick when it came to filling vacant positions, not only in the company. Nevertheless the interview continued with questions such as "you need to be able to handle big packages?" which is understandable for a package delivery company. In which the male responded in the very professional "well i'm used to dealing with big packages as I have one of my own". Excellent I thought, prior experience in package handling will stand him in good stead for this job. He then proceeded to give her his big package in a way in which would would seem alien to most package delivery personal and certainly not the way Royal mail work, not as I've experiences at least. Yet still, after all this, she still never confirmed whether he had got the job or would even be receiving a callback which suggested her standards are higher then her loose attitudes toward sex would suggest. Which must be disappointing because I couldn't even got a job at ASDA even after sending a letter in support of my application. I would imagine I would be rather vexed having to go through all he did and not got the job but I suppose it's a tough and competitive market out there! In conclusion to all of this, maybe I've been looking for jobs in the wrong place and perhaps I should be looking at parcel delivery companies instead. Who knows I may also get a job, or some kind of JOB, out of it at the very least. It may also lesser the need to go through the awkwardness of the dating process. Or perhaps I've read too much into all this and my next planned trip to the post office will be a huge disappointment.
Much love
JD
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