Creator of worlds, drunk and soiled he is our mighty lord

Last night as I lay observantly as the wind whipped mercilessly against my cracked windows, and the whistles penetrated every gap in the ageing frame pushing my curtains outwards. I slipped into a bizarre dream I feel is worthy of a mention. In this dream my bed formed the nucleus of the big bang, electric blue clouds spun vehemently in a swirl of tornado like wind and flashes of blinding blue lighting crashed around me. My bed beneath cracked and split under the pressure before a huge flash of light sent everything including myself flying into millions of pieces into the dark forming planets and moons in its wake. I awoke and arrogantly assumed that this could only mean that my mere existence brought to life another galaxy. It was at this point I leant out to take a victorious sip of water from the side of my bed leaning to too far out I rolled gracefully from my bed knocking over said water and a half drank can of Stella. It was at this point I felt that my existence was purely biological and the result of nothing but human nature. This stark reality hit home poignantly as I lay there with the warm larger carving its way through my crack of my arse like the forming of a great river. The striking reality of my drunkenness hit home and the realisation that my dream with not a primordial dream so powerful it formed universes but rather a drunken fantasy formed through regular over excessive alcohol consumption. I was not a god but rather more likely somebody experiencing the first signs of brain damage. I awoke this morning clinging naked and cold to a pair of stained boxers for warmth fragile and weak like a new born baby, like the first child in the bountiful Garden of Eden. The wind outside had calmed and I proceeded to the window flinging the curtains open and forcing the windows open I presented my limp body to this new fledgling world (and my old extremely catholic neighbour) and embraced an air that seemed so pure it could easily have been the first breath drawn of a new world. Which then posed the question? Drunken idiot??? Or mighty god????     

Youtube made me get a bit deep!

While looking for a typeface for my next tattoo I discovered a YouTube video that got me thinking about how we can often abandon things we stand for based on the words of others. The tattoo is a quote taken from "on the road" by jack Kerouac, the quote; "life is holy and every moment is precious" it is everything that embodies my mind set and how I live my life dedicated to the pursuit of joy, spirituality and harmony. Knowing they can only be attained when one surrenders themselves to ideals of accepting that the unknown of the future and fragility of life itself means that often securing a positive future starts by embracing the present! It is that torturous feeling that we are guilty of, the "what would have happened" often it's the fear of the unknown sometimes it's a preset of ideas and beliefs that we live by which stops us doing something or taking an opportunity that comes our way. It's not always wrong it's that rationalisation that helps distinguish right and wrong, and good from bad. But it's also that over rationalising that can cause us to miss an opportunity. Often when we look at ourselves to try and understand ourselves it's from two points physically and socially; how we look, what we do as a job, where we live, what we wear all based on possession and material based. Often it's only when we feel down that we look at ourselves deeper reassuring ourselves of our positives, our good nature, honesty, sensitivity etc and insisting that everything else is elementary when considering this. Yet for the most part our lives become a long road of gratifying a selfish material need! Where as often we find when we are acting unselfishly, honestly and true to our nature we gratify a sense of others well being which in turn brings us our own joy. We do this to greater effect when we accept ourselves for who we are completely although this can take a long time and may always be changing if we strive to be and understand our true selves and learn from that then we can start to form the person we want to be from learning who we are and who we aren't.
The YouTube clip was an interview with jack Kerouac and I turned it off deciding that how I picture him is perfectly formed through reading his novels and that his voice for me should only be read and not heard to protect the wonderful innocence of imagination. Deciding to turn it off meant that I kept what his words meant to me and not be effected by the words of others nor the words of the man trying to explain and validate his words to others. The beauty of literacy is that we create the world with our own mind and to see that world presented in other way then how we imagine it often takes away from the beauty of it. The point of all of this is that we should look at ourselves honestly more often and if we have a belief or something we are passionate about we should protect and nurture it we shouldn't let outside influences affect it, only our own self learning and progression, should allow us to revaluate our beliefs and the people we form through them.